Postaday #14

What made you decide to start a blog?

I type faster than I write with a pen, and it is also more legible. I want to share my creative soul with the whole world. I am a silent exhibitionist. It is a similar feeling to the difference between stage fright (from which I am immune) and restaurant fright. When I dance in restaurants it can start as a frightful experience because all those people are really really close to me. Writing is similar. I love to share it but God forbid I ever read it out loud. To anyone. Ever. Please don't ask me to do that. My writing is of my soul. All of my characters are me and yet are not me. To read them, to give them voice is something that would cause a part of them and a part of me to die somehow. I've partially captured them in words but not entirely. When we read things, our imaginations do a fabulous job of filling in the gaps. (Anyone who has read the Harry Potter books unconsciously also fills in gaps with the movies - my husband pointed this out and caused me to become conscious of the fact that he hadn't read the books - now I whisper to him during the movies...) For me to give voice to my words would take away the voice you have been attributing to them. It would kill a little bit of their magic. I have only written one piece that was meant to be spoken, simply because its rhythm was difficult to follow as a written piece. Everything else I have written is and was meant only to be read. But that is important too - it is written to be read by people other than myself. I don't care if you like it or not. I do hope that now and then I'm able to capture some essence of something universal, something that rings in your heart as being common with an experience that is uniquely yours. I hope to evoke feelings of sentimentality sometimes, feelings that help you to see beauty in the dark places. I hope to be able to share that fallen and broken and dark are not always synonymous with bad or evil. I want to share the beauty I see in everything. Occasionally I also want you to sit back and say well that was really cheesy but... hm... it made me giggle or was also somehow fun. Even when my writing is truly awful, I tried. I had motivation and passion. It might've even been deliberate.

That is why I have a blog.