How do you define a friend? Postaday2011

How do you define a friend?

A friend is someone who encourages you to follow your heart. She might think you're making a really bad decision. If she loves you, she might very gently tell you that she doesn't agree with you but values your happiness over agreement.


A friend is someone who doesn't judge you - for anything. If you make a bad decision about something important, a friend won't tell you that you did something stupid. Instead, when the consequences come raining down, a friend will be really glad that you came to your senses and sought her out.



Someone who is not controlling is a friend. He is someone who does not tell you what to wear, how to act, how to behave in public or ever insult your parents, no matter how awful they might be behaving.

A friend is someone in whom you can confide your deepest, darkest secrets and truths, knowing they will never be shared with anyone - they will be taken to the grave. A friend won't talk behind your back, or make up stories about you that aren't true.

A friend is someone who does something nice for you without you having to ask for it, or without offering first. Friends bring over random baking. Friends show up without warning in work clothes when you post on facebook that you're going to spring clean your garden. If you're lucky, they bring homemade lemonade. Friends show up to help you move. They also find time to spend with you when there's no time left and you're desperate for some grown-up conversation. Friends don't do thoughtful things out of some sense of obligation. Friends are thoughtful because they actually think about you. A friend is someone who comes over on the sly to give you a souvenir from their recent trip to somewhere exotic with the added info that nobody else got anything but this one thing just jumped out and screamed your name...

Friends don't understand what it's like to have something awful happen, or to have your heart broken so badly that you feel like you're going to die from the emotional pain/trauma. Friends will stay with you though, and distract you, look after you and make sure that your life is going on, even though it hurts. A friend knows that passing you a kleenex when you cry is a silent message that they aren't comfortable with your tears. Friends know that you'll get the kleenex when your effing good and ready for it, thankyouverymuch. Friends are folks in front of whom you can cry, openly. Because friends don't talk about friends, and because friends care so deeply even though they don't understand your unique feeling because it is yours only, friends create a safe space for you.

When a friend gives you positive encouragement, and encourages sharing of your memories, good, bad, ugly and otherwise, and when the friend doesn't share any of that with anybody else, it creates a feeling of safety and a feeling of trust. Most people have private things inside of them that they don't share easily, but will spill to a safe friend.

A friend definitely says it's okay to cry when the tears start and you look hesitant about it.

A friend will track you down if you're in the hospital. She might not know where to start looking for you, but if your facebook post says you're in the hospital, she'll do her darnedest to find you, because nobody should ever be in the hospital alone.

A friend knows how self-sufficient you really are, and believes you when you say that you don't need anything. A friend will simply sit with you, talking when it's time to talk, and chilling out when it's that time too.

A friend will offer to help clean your kids' or pets' vomit. If you won't let them, your friend will offer to look after whichever creature recently upchucked.

Friends will offer to go to funerals with you, even though they don't know the person who died, and even though it might be difficult for them to get the time off work. They'll also offer to go with you to put flowers on graves and make sure you're emotionally stable enough to drive yourself there and back.

Friends know who in your life is unwell, and they ask about that person. Friends care about whether or not your husband aced his job interview and how your kid is recovering from her injury. Friends care when your pet dies or if it is particularly sick.

Most friends probably don't know everything there is to know about you or your past, but they should have a decent idea of the life you've led and the circumstances that gave rise to the person who you are today.

A friend is somebody who loves you, for who you are, no matter what you've said or done. A friend understands that sometimes things happen, sometimes we make mistakes or do something we might regret, but that it was necessary to shape us into who we are today. Friends forgive you for occasionally being mean because they know that it usually has nothing to do with you.