Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Bee Es (or why I am extremely leery of letting my child attend public school)
The following post is taken from a blog belonging to a very good friend of mine.
It explains very clearly one of many reasons why the thought of putting my child through public school makes me angry. I had to suffer through this Bee Es growing up, although I'm relatively certain it wasn't my parents perpetuating it.
The comment at the end is every bit as important too - this isn't just about little girls learning that violence is a show of affection. It's about teaching little boys that violence is *not* a show of affection. And that it goes both ways - girls can be equally awful.
Name calling and violent behavior is NOT EVER an acceptable method of showing affection.
Here's the post:
“I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.
My daughter is 10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.
I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.
The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.
” You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via ceedling)
And always remember that the boys are listening, too, and learning that this is how they are expected to show their affections.
(via joyouslyprofane)
It explains very clearly one of many reasons why the thought of putting my child through public school makes me angry. I had to suffer through this Bee Es growing up, although I'm relatively certain it wasn't my parents perpetuating it.
The comment at the end is every bit as important too - this isn't just about little girls learning that violence is a show of affection. It's about teaching little boys that violence is *not* a show of affection. And that it goes both ways - girls can be equally awful.
Name calling and violent behavior is NOT EVER an acceptable method of showing affection.
Here's the post:
“I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.
My daughter is 10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.
I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.
The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.
” You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via ceedling)
And always remember that the boys are listening, too, and learning that this is how they are expected to show their affections.
(via joyouslyprofane)
Sunday, September 09, 2012
day of rest
This post is an invitation for comments.
In dancing on the grass yesterday for the Westview Culture Days with the lovely Al Amar Dance Theatre, (Classes start this Wednesday at The Refinery in Saskatoon - check out their webpage for details!) I seem to have re-done whatever it was I did before to my foot where it feels like the cuboid bone slipped against the.... well, either the first metatarsals of the 4th and 5th toes or the transverse tarsal joint was the one doing the slipping. Either way, it resulted in dancing with a numb foot and now occasionally walking with great foot pain. As long as I stay off of it, it will be better by Wednesday. This is vital because that is when dance classes start, and I love to dance.
In the meantime, I am attempting a day of rest. This goes against my very grain. It is the weekend and I am supposed to be doing all of the active things I normally would not get to do during the week while sitting at a desk in an office. At the very least, going for a walk would be absolutely lovely as it is supposed to be quite nice out today, and there won't be very many quite nice out days left this season.
This post is an invitation for comments - what do you do with forced days of rest when you really don't feel like resting?
Once you're done answering that, you should really check out the info on classes with Al Amar. Aside from being super fun and super good for you, it'd be good for us to see some new faces too. And it's fun. Did I mention that? Really fun. If you do nothing else with your spare time, taking an Al Amar class will greatly enhance the amount of fun you have in your life.
In dancing on the grass yesterday for the Westview Culture Days with the lovely Al Amar Dance Theatre, (Classes start this Wednesday at The Refinery in Saskatoon - check out their webpage for details!) I seem to have re-done whatever it was I did before to my foot where it feels like the cuboid bone slipped against the.... well, either the first metatarsals of the 4th and 5th toes or the transverse tarsal joint was the one doing the slipping. Either way, it resulted in dancing with a numb foot and now occasionally walking with great foot pain. As long as I stay off of it, it will be better by Wednesday. This is vital because that is when dance classes start, and I love to dance.
In the meantime, I am attempting a day of rest. This goes against my very grain. It is the weekend and I am supposed to be doing all of the active things I normally would not get to do during the week while sitting at a desk in an office. At the very least, going for a walk would be absolutely lovely as it is supposed to be quite nice out today, and there won't be very many quite nice out days left this season.
This post is an invitation for comments - what do you do with forced days of rest when you really don't feel like resting?
Once you're done answering that, you should really check out the info on classes with Al Amar. Aside from being super fun and super good for you, it'd be good for us to see some new faces too. And it's fun. Did I mention that? Really fun. If you do nothing else with your spare time, taking an Al Amar class will greatly enhance the amount of fun you have in your life.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
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