Tuesday, March 28, 2006

soundtrack for late at night when you can't sleep

1. Sit Down, Stand Up (Snakes & Ladders) - Radiohead
2. Waiter - Nellie McKay
3. Alone in Kyoto - Air
4. Blackout - Muse
5. Winter - Tori Amos
6. Wolf At The Door (It Girl. Rag Doll) - Radiohead
7. Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
8. How do You Do? - Radiohead
9. Inner Peace - Nellie McKay
10. Creep - Radiohead
11. Time Is Running Out - Muse
12. Father Lucifer - Tori Amos
13. Watching You Without Me - Kate Bush
14. Backdrifts (Honeymoon is Over) - Radiohead
15. Sing For Absolution - Muse
16. Warm - Curtis Santiago
17. Really - Nellie McKay
18. Safe in Your Arms - Beth Orton
19 Thinking About You - Radiohead

home is quiet
light left on in case I was late
floor cold to bottom of my
feet
out of my shoes feels so good
whisper of fresh air from the
open window by the bed
sky is changing colour
lighter later but not quite summer
in the bathroom fixing laundry (see Serasonho's
loveletter to the Strat) and back is sore
from bending over the bathtub
squeezing, wringing
back by my balcony to hang it and
it
is darker, need to turn on a light to see
so quickly
see so quickly how dusk
dark
becomes

quietly out into the balmy streets, city streetlights reflecting
off the pools of water on the footpaths
where am I going? Do I want to go there? what could I possibly
need?
Do I care?

Groceries and Idon'tknowwhatall
leaving me so unsatisfied
well fed
sure fine but in the end

it's just me in my quiet dark apartment

turn all the lights on turn up the music wash the new pan to cook dinner
*finally* eat some sushi

I want chocolate but most of it is so sweet it hurts my teeth

read a bit write a bit
write a dirty spring poem for my lover
want to do something creative but nothing is quite
right

tired? But of course.
Yet sleep does not come.
The night grows old
The night grows cold
and I rolled over and stared at the ceiling
AGAIN

why can't I sleep when I want to sleep?

All these thoughts run through my head and I pick up some music
always
don't laugh, somethings really
never do change

when the rest of the world isn't working for me I
rearrange
what I can

the music I play
the day I stayed
a minute too long in some pub somewhere

a friend died

I miss her all the time
if we'd been smarter older wiser back then
if we knew then what we know now

I want to take back the night she cut my hair
the night we stood there
hugging
the night in the ravine
and by the river valley where we played until we realized
the whole time we'd been
seen
by a light from above and now

she's there
all around and everywhere

"Will you still think about me
when I'm gone?"

I wanted to show her my photos of
flowers
because if she hadn't stopped abruptly
every time we almost trod on one
all the way up that mountain
the day we danced naked at the top and took pictures
I never would have noticed flowers
and now I have a collection of 'em
from all over the world

don't tell me

(?)

"well they're fine for pictures of flowers but
what are you going to do with them?"

why the fuck do I have to "do" anything with them?

I only took them to show a friend.

No comments: