a post on privilege for International Women's Day

What better day for a quick feminist rant than International Women's Day 2013, also, incidentally, the first day of my first postpartum period? I say, let loose the birth-control-fueled rage! :-)

(No, really, the birth control I'm fortunate enough to have access to (married, white, middle class Canadian woman) makes me excessively and unreasonably irritable and mentally unbalanced. For reals. A non-documented side effect that I can't find on any product monograph, but it's happened twice, 14 years apart, so it must be true!)

My rant is simple. I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. (look it up on google maps if you've never heard of it.)

I am one half of a white, middle class, home-owning family with our first child. I run my own small business, my husband works in the trades, we share a car, etc.

But don't you dare for one moment think we've been treated equally as parents.

This is one case where the system is inherently biased toward women in such a huge way... but would we ever have noticed it if my husband wasn't an involved dad?

In the hospital I got a free TDaP booster. My husband got a mat on the floor and a hospital sheet.

In the hospital, all information was directed at me, and occasionally when I asked if we could wait to make sure my husband was there too, well, apparently that doesn't get requested all that often.

Information was mostly directed to moms. A social worker actually said "well and I guess dads too" and actually made an effort to include my husband. (Why was that even necessary? Shouldn't all information just be for parents? What if a gay couple adopts?)

The last straw was today, taking my son for his first immunizations. Under guardian information is my name.

Only my name.

ARE THEY EFFING SERIOUS????

If I drop dead, public health has nothing on file about our child's father.

If I can't make one of his immunization appointments because who knows why, maybe I'm on my death bed sick or maybe I just seriously feel ill at the sight of my son crying, public health would see my husband and say oh, who are you?

I'm not okay with this bias. I don't need to be treated like a rock star at the expense of even acknowledging my husband's existence. I can see it might work for a single parent family, but NOT ALL SINGLE PARENTS ARE MOMS.

And this line:

MOMS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE MOST INVOLVED PARENT IN A CHILD'S LIFE. Sometimes it's the dad. Sometimes it's actually shared equally.

How the hell can we expect an equal parenting society to evolve if the entire system is biased against it?

(Yes, I know I only have the privilege of this rant because I am a middle class, married, white, Canadian woman. And I'm damn grateful for that privilege.)

Happy women's day.