My husband went back to Moose Jaw for the week for school. That's about a 3 hour drive from where we live. This is the first stretch of any time I will have had more than one day alone with our new son, 5 weeks old this week.
I am incredibly very deeply sad. I am not sad about being a mum or looking after Leon alone. That is fine. I'm really glad I have him for company actually. But I'm sad because my relationship with my husband has grown so much deeper that being apart hurts. It is agonizing.
I'm here to go to a rehearsal for a show I'm not even totally sure I'll be dancing in, because I've missed all the other rehearsals, and my balance is off ever since I've been not pregnant, and I might have to dance in heels. These are some of the details I don't know the answer to. I do want to be in the show. Badly. But I have to say that right now I feel like a complete idiot for not going with my husband for the week.
I think I'm going to go snuggle with Leon in bed for a while and cry for a while. I doubt it will make me feel better but I guess I can just be grateful I'm feeling something and that my feelings aren't postpartum depression - just I miss my husband.
I'm going to have to find things to do too - apparently when he's done with school he'll be back to working out of town 4 days a week.
Seriously.... the hardest part about being in love is being apart.
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