What better day for a quick feminist rant than International Women's
Day 2013, also, incidentally, the first day of my first postpartum
period? I say, let loose the birth-control-fueled rage! :-)
(No,
really, the birth control I'm fortunate enough to have access to
(married, white, middle class Canadian woman) makes me excessively and
unreasonably irritable and mentally unbalanced. For reals. A
non-documented side effect that I can't find on any product monograph,
but it's happened twice, 14 years apart, so it must be true!)
My rant is simple. I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. (look it up on google maps if you've never heard of it.)
I
am one half of a white, middle class, home-owning family with our first
child. I run my own small business, my husband works in the trades, we
share a car, etc.
But don't you dare for one moment think we've been treated equally as parents.
This
is one case where the system is inherently biased toward women in such a
huge way... but would we ever have noticed it if my husband wasn't an
involved dad?
In the hospital I got a free TDaP booster. My husband got a mat on the floor and a hospital sheet.
In
the hospital, all information was directed at me, and occasionally when
I asked if we could wait to make sure my husband was there too, well,
apparently that doesn't get requested all that often.
Information
was mostly directed to moms. A social worker actually said "well and I
guess dads too" and actually made an effort to include my husband. (Why
was that even necessary? Shouldn't all information just be for parents?
What if a gay couple adopts?)
The last straw was today, taking my son for his first immunizations. Under guardian information is my name.
Only my name.
ARE THEY EFFING SERIOUS????
If I drop dead, public health has nothing on file about our child's father.
If
I can't make one of his immunization appointments because who knows
why, maybe I'm on my death bed sick or maybe I just seriously feel ill
at the sight of my son crying, public health would see my husband and
say oh, who are you?
I'm not okay with this bias. I
don't need to be treated like a rock star at the expense of even
acknowledging my husband's existence. I can see it might work for a
single parent family, but NOT ALL SINGLE PARENTS ARE MOMS.
And this line:
MOMS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE MOST INVOLVED PARENT IN A CHILD'S LIFE. Sometimes it's the dad. Sometimes it's actually shared equally.
How the hell can we expect an equal parenting society to evolve if the entire system is biased against it?
(Yes,
I know I only have the privilege of this rant because I am a middle
class, married, white, Canadian woman. And I'm damn grateful for that
privilege.)
Happy women's day.
