appropriate clothing

I was daydreaming on the topic of things that are and are not appropriate to wear to work. I draw the line at backless shirts that show bras, and lace shirts that also show bras, even if they're only lace in the back. And as much as I might want to, I'd never wear a strapless anything to work. One of my favourite summer dresses is strapless. I might wear it as a skirt to work, but not as a top.

This then brought back a memory. A what was I thinking kind of memory.

I was in church. Specifically, a Relief Society meeting. I'd worn my little black dress because it was the only skirt-like thing I owned that was clean. I should add that there is an unwritten rule (at least, I think it's unwritten) that women are only allowed in the chapel in skirts. Anyone who knows me knows that this really, really, really pisses me off. This is dumb. I didn't own skirts that weren't part of dance costumes until I started going to church.

On this particular day, as mentioned, I was in the little black dress. It had little black sleeves. It was a button up dress. It was also particularly short. When I sat down and crossed my legs, you could see entirely too much leg for church. Which I realized But Eff Me, seriously, with what happened next.

The "talk" was begun with a "reminder" about the nature of appropriate clothing to wear to church, especially how our skirts should not be too short.

I have no idea which sister gave the talk. I don't care. I don't even know if she'd seen me. But do you know how I felt? I damn near walked out. If you're going to make a misogynist rule about women having to wear skirts in the chapel, in my not particularly humble or non-hostile opinion, you've just lost the right to have any control over those skirts whatsoever.

Maybe next time I'll wear the little black skirt with the laces down the sides. And maybe I'll find a shirt with a lace back and wear a flourescent bra underneath it. Maybe I'll put my hair in a mowhawk while I'm at it and wear a thick layer of sparkles on my eyes. And to top it off you know I'd have to break out the 5-inch stiletto heels and fishnet stockings.

I don't disbelieve that my church means well, and as anyone who has seen me at work and read past dissertations on how I don't own anything sexy unless a vaguely tight wool sweater counts, clearly I am about 95% conservative in my dressing habits. And I'd have to say my clothes are pretty nice too. Even (especially) my pants.

That said, the Church can take its outdated, misogynist Bee Es and keep it. Far. Far. FAR. away from me. God gave me female genitals. How I choose to portray that in society is between me, and God. I'm not going around burning my bra, or advocating for anything that would get my picture in the DSM.

In fact, I'm not even sure why this is still an issue in the Church. And I know I'm not the first woman who's expressed discomfort at having to show up somewhere in a skirt. Unless, of course, it's a miniskirt. In which case I'm delighted you invited me!