a post on privilege for International Women's Day

What better day for a quick feminist rant than International Women's Day 2013, also, incidentally, the first day of my first postpartum period? I say, let loose the birth-control-fueled rage! :-)

(No, really, the birth control I'm fortunate enough to have access to (married, white, middle class Canadian woman) makes me excessively and unreasonably irritable and mentally unbalanced. For reals. A non-documented side effect that I can't find on any product monograph, but it's happened twice, 14 years apart, so it must be true!)

My rant is simple. I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. (look it up on google maps if you've never heard of it.)

I am one half of a white, middle class, home-owning family with our first child. I run my own small business, my husband works in the trades, we share a car, etc.

But don't you dare for one moment think we've been treated equally as parents.

This is one case where the system is inherently biased toward women in such a huge way... but would we ever have noticed it if my husband wasn't an involved dad?

In the hospital I got a free TDaP booster. My husband got a mat on the floor and a hospital sheet.

In the hospital, all information was directed at me, and occasionally when I asked if we could wait to make sure my husband was there too, well, apparently that doesn't get requested all that often.

Information was mostly directed to moms. A social worker actually said "well and I guess dads too" and actually made an effort to include my husband. (Why was that even necessary? Shouldn't all information just be for parents? What if a gay couple adopts?)

The last straw was today, taking my son for his first immunizations. Under guardian information is my name.

Only my name.

ARE THEY EFFING SERIOUS????

If I drop dead, public health has nothing on file about our child's father.

If I can't make one of his immunization appointments because who knows why, maybe I'm on my death bed sick or maybe I just seriously feel ill at the sight of my son crying, public health would see my husband and say oh, who are you?

I'm not okay with this bias. I don't need to be treated like a rock star at the expense of even acknowledging my husband's existence. I can see it might work for a single parent family, but NOT ALL SINGLE PARENTS ARE MOMS.

And this line:

MOMS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE MOST INVOLVED PARENT IN A CHILD'S LIFE. Sometimes it's the dad. Sometimes it's actually shared equally.

How the hell can we expect an equal parenting society to evolve if the entire system is biased against it?

(Yes, I know I only have the privilege of this rant because I am a middle class, married, white, Canadian woman. And I'm damn grateful for that privilege.)

Happy women's day.

superfun political questions!

1: What ideology or ism would you describe yourself as?
 Socialist anarchist libertarian with conservative fiscal values.

2: Why do you subscribe to that ideology? What made you choose it?
It is the only one that makes any sense to me.




3: Have you always been a [x]ist?
Probably, although 10 years ago I might not have had the fancy words to describe it.

4: If there was an election tomorrow, who would you vote for?
Green Party, or Saskatchewan Party. I don't always agree with everything they do but they make sure (most, apparently not if your occupational choice is artsy) people have jobs and that's rather important for those of us who like to keep things like our houses and being able to afford hobbies. And baby food. Babies would be pretty pissed off if we couldn't afford formula and that shit's expensive!

5: If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?
Society would shift from quasi-tolerant to being openly accepting and as non-judgmental of others as possible.

6: Ever been on a protest march?
Yes, protesting sending troops to Iraq. I was in Australia.

7: Are you a member of a political party/group?
No, but I did help the Green Party build signs the first year they ran...

8: Favourite political book?
Either Midnight's Children or Shame.

9: Favourite political author?
Salman Rushdie

10: How would you fix the economic crisis?
Fire the people at the top, rewrite legislation as it relates to financial institutions, and .... pray that it works as well as it did in Iceland.

11: Least favourite ideology
Fascism.

12: What's your view on human nature?
That it is inherently good, but you should always watch your back!

13: On the state?
Which state? The state of my yard is currently full of snow and I don't love that...


14: On capitalism and the free market?
Yes please. It runs very well in tandem with quality socialist programs to help the people who cannot survive in a capitalist system.


15: What will society look like in the future?
Very much the same, but hopefully people will have learned something.


16: What should society look like in the future?
More volatile, with more of a strong, peaceful voice being given to the people.

17: A politician/leader/other political vector you admire.
Hilary Clinton.

18: How old should someone be before they're allowed to vote?
Old enough to be directly impacted by politics and laws.

19: What's a prominent political issue in your country at the minute? How do you feel about it?
Reduced funding of the arts - when I have a dance show I want a professional lighting technician. Period. I shouldn't have to look sub-par because of a lack of skilled professionals.

20: If you were in power for the day, what would you do?

eliminate the complicated pay for service scheme that the medical profession is currently tied to.

21: Is liberal democracy (or whatever you'd call our current system) the best model for government?
I have to agree with my husband on this one - there is something to be said for a benevolent dictatorship.

22: Your favourite news source?
BBC

23: A political tumblr you'd recommend?
http://paronomaniac.tumblr.com/page/2


24: How do you feel about your country's foreign policy?
I actually know very little about it and so have only feelings of trepidation....

remembering to breath

My husband went back to Moose Jaw for the week for school. That's about a 3 hour drive from where we live. This is the first stretch of any time I will have had more than one day alone with our new son, 5 weeks old this week.

I am incredibly very deeply sad. I am not sad about being a mum or looking after Leon alone. That is fine. I'm really glad I have him for company actually. But I'm sad because my relationship with my husband has grown so much deeper that being apart hurts. It is agonizing.

I'm here to go to a rehearsal for a show I'm not even totally sure I'll be dancing in, because I've missed all the other rehearsals, and my balance is off ever since I've been not pregnant, and I might have to dance in heels. These are some of the details I don't know the answer to. I do want to be in the show. Badly. But I have to say that right now I feel like a complete idiot for not going with my husband for the week.

I think I'm going to go snuggle with Leon in bed for a while and cry for a while. I doubt it will make me feel better but I guess I can just be grateful I'm feeling something and that my feelings aren't postpartum depression - just I miss my husband.

I'm going to have to find things to do too - apparently when he's done with school he'll be back to working out of town 4 days a week.

Seriously.... the hardest part about being in love is being apart.

on parties

I find most parties to be horribly awkward situations. I'm actually looking forward to going to parties with my son because until he's old enough to play independently, he'll keep me occupied instead of awkward.

For the most part, I get invited to three kinds of parties. And generally I go to these parties because they're fun-ish. (I'm not including family parties because my family doesn't care if I sleep on their couch half way through the party...)

1. Parties with other dancers, pretty much always involving dance, usually with me as some form of entertainment. These parties are my favourite kind and are rarely awkward.

2. Parties with friends. Usually I only know two or three people, at least one of whom is hosting said party, and they're all friends with everyone else, therefore the face time I get with the people I know is minimal. And everyone wants to know if I'm having a good time.

3. Work parties. I hate work parties. I usually don't like my coworkers enough to socialize with them. This isn't as much of a threat right now as my husband also doesn't like work parties and generally doesn't go to them, and I am currently only working for myself...

Let's talk about party #2. I usually try to bring a friend who also doesn't know anyone, as this usually guarantees me conversation. I have issues there because I suck at making small talk. To be brief, I just don't see the point in small talk. But I also don't easily start conversations either. I'm not a talker. And I'm pretty sure it's impolite to wreck someone's birthday party by approaching their friends one by one with "So, what are your thoughts on abortion?" But that is what I really want to know. Or how they feel about the design and planning of their city, or the state of public transit and how to make it better. And... I don't do well with bitching either. I don't care if you want to whine or complain about anything. That's your choice. But if you're doing it in my direction I'd prefer if you also offered a creative solution of some sort. Bitching gets no one anywhere.

That all said, I do generally choose to go to parties, as opposed to staying away. But if I'm at your party, and I'm sitting alone in a corner reading one of your books, or napping on your couch, please don't take it personally. That is my version of having a good time with other people - being in their company, listening to their conversations, observing gently, and for me, also feeling safe to participate differently.

thoughts

A good friend commented on my blog, using different media, therefore not published comments... and his comments had me thinking back to old stuff and ....

what do I find physically attractive in a man? Ignoring his intellect, wacky wit, and just focusing on the physical... what attracts me? Cleanliness is huge. Not being a smoker is big. He needs to smell natural but clean and.... be very hairy. When I mentioned this to my husband he made a noise that was a cross between a snarf and a giggle. But it's true - I am attracted to very hairy men. As in rugs all over, front, back, limbs, feet, back of hands.... hair.

What else attracts me to a man would include his intellect, how he presents himself, cleanliness, very twisted sense of humour, and a unique balance between some aspects of John Wayne masculinity and outright androgyny.

Any questions?

a night of freaky dreams

It's morning. I just got up. I slept poorly due to freaky dreams. This post might not be the most coherent. You have been warned.

Dreams..... symbols including a higher level of consciousness regarding old issues, being in the dark (unable to turn the light on) but having the light come on spontaneously after, and using curtains to shield myself from the (perceived) judgemental glares of.... strangers? Former friends? I'm not exactly sure. geographically speaking would be former friends but bore no resemblance to actual people I know, just people whose prying eyes I didn't want on me. Not physical threat as only barrier was a curtain, not a locked door. Next dream involved driving over crumbling cobblestone bridges to a boat filled with decay and dead bodies - died from respiratory illness. Next dream involved the Chinese taking over our government and economy as current socioeconomic conditions caused government to collapse both here and in the US.

I am quite certain that the first dream relates to the post I wrote yesterday, specifically in relationship to the development of my sexuality. But I'm not entirely sure just how it relates, or what it is that I'm supposed to have learned from it - I obviously sorted something out subconsciously because the lights came on. The dream took place in the house I grew up in in Spruce Grove, more or less. I have had many dreams about that house, mostly having to do with needing to lock doors and shut blinds and curtains to keep bad out. Occasionally fleeing the house has also been involved. Because of that I'm not entirely certain what part of my consciousness that house symbolizes.

I have very little to go on for the other two dreams either. The one with all the dead people and crossing a crumbling bridge likely represents my own rebirth as a new me which will take place when my baby is born. I guess that one's not rocket science. But a decaying ship full of dead people? Really? Why'd my subconscious have to pick such a completely creepy symbol to tell me something I already know?

And the last dream? It's strange because I don't think of our economy from one day to the next. My microeconomy with my husband is somehow flourishing even though he's going to school in another city and the baby's about to be born and our only income for the next 2 months is (kinda sorta - I don't really understand how it works when I also make self-employment income) my EI... somehow we actually have enough money in the bank between us to cover emergencies. And I'm not concerned particularly with any economy outside of our own because no matter what happens, something will happen, people will move forward. We won't all just suddenly starve and die off because humanity is better than that, and I'd like to think we wouldn't all turn into looters immediately either. Then again, I have at least a month's worth of food stashed in my basement, so why would I be the least bit concerned?  So... last dream.... I have nothing to offer in terms of interpretation.

I think that's everything I had to say. I feel like I'm missing things but oh well. and feel free to comment and offer thoughts or suggestions too. I'm all ears.

It gets better.

I just finished reading this post on one of my favourite blogs. (Incidentally, friend, I follow your blog too, but I'm not sure if Tumblr is able to count stats of followers from other parts of the blogosphere...)

Anyway...

it got me thinking. 20 years ago is a very long time, and I had to think hard about where I would have been in life. School, particularly early school, is confusing for me because I'm not sure which ages are associated with which grades, and with my birthday in January it means I was 2 ages for every grade. And I associate my elementary school years with grade levels as opposed to my age at the time. Therefore, this required some serious thinking.

Where was I when I was 12? What was my thing?

If I remember correctly, 12 was a rather significant winter for me, in that it was intensely frustrating. And the time I'm thinking of I actually would have been 11, but almost 12. It was just near the end of Christmas "holidays" and I was at an age where the whole staycation thing felt like it just went on too long. I couldn't tell you what I got for Christmas that year, although I'm sure it was awesome. And I'm pretty sure we ate turkey, which was also awesome.

Christmas in Spruce Grove. At the time (as I remember it) I had two real friends, neither of whom I went to school with, and a couple of "friends" at school, people I associated with but with whom I never felt entirely comfortable or certain of my status as friend.

This particular holiday I had invited one of my school "friends" over to play. I'm not entirely sure what we were doing but it involved her wanting something I was using, some sort of inflatable toy like a beach ball maybe? Anyway, she pulled on it while I was trying to inflate it, and as a result the air intake tugged rather sharply on my teeth which hurt quite a bit. This was after I'd asked her repeatedly to wait until I was finished. I responded by hitting. She responded by saying she had to leave.

I felt awful that the chain of events had finished with me hitting her, but at the same time, for whatever reason, she wasn't taking my polite requests seriously.

Looking back I wonder if that was maybe the first example of me having to defend my person against someone who wouldn't take no for an answer, and if perhaps I was so upset by it that it disarmed me against a couple of future entanglements....

I really hadn't thought this would get so deep, now that I'm getting into it.

20 years ago I learned that using violent means to stop an aggressor known to me as someone previously likeable would make me feel like an awful person for hurting the other.

I think this explains why I seemed to have a bottomless capacity for staying in really bad relationships.

(Three cheers for learning something about myself?)

I did eventually figure out how to not stay in bad relationships though. My marriage is amazing, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without my husband. I'm finally in a secure enough emotional space to be able to actually need my husband, as opposed to just being in love with him. And it's amazing to be okay with that.

But back to 20 years ago. The incident left me feeling completely awful. I was convinced I was somehow a bad person (as opposed to a good person who made a poor decision) and when my "friend" gave me the cold shoulder at school the following term, I felt very hurt. I didn't understand why she wouldn't talk about it with me so that we could both have a chance to explain ourselves, learn from our mistakes, and move on. Instead I spent a miserable, mostly friendless (at school) last part of grade 6. I could hardly wait to get to grade 7 and a different school than most of my classmates. It didn't mean making friends would be any easier, just that there would be new people to choose from.

I know how awful a period of life that whole coming of age time can be. But I survived it. And I did make friends. One of my grade 7 friends was maid of honour at my wedding. And as long as you're willing to accept yourself (or try to), learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others, and keep trying... it gets better. Twenty years past the age of 12 you'll be able to take a deep breath and know that it was all worthwhile because now is a pretty amazing time and place to be alive.

waiting for my husband to get home

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?
I actually really hate scented candles. They're abominable most of the time. There's one company that makes ones that are okay, but still not awesome. My favourite heated fragrance, if you will, is a tinfoil vessel containing a teaspoon of vanilla extract, resting over the vent of a hot oven. It makes the whole house smell seriously yummy.



2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
I'm not sure. I'm not very well versed with celebrities and my own sisters are such incredible people that I doubt very much anyone else out there could match them in terms of being good choices for sisters for me.


3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
I think the same goes here. The brothers who have married into my family are such incredible people that no celebrity could hope to match them.


4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
I never thought I'd actually get married. It happened when I was 28. 



5. Do you know a hoarder?
Not really, although we discovered a lot of interesting things when my grandparents moved from their small town house into the city.


6. Can you do a split?
I can split all kinds of things. But if you're asking if I can do The Splits, the answer is probably not anymore.


7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
I want to say I was in grade 1 but I"m not sure.


8. How many oceans have you swam in?
Pacific, Atlantic, and I'm related to a brave soul (my Dad) who once took a dip in the Arctic ocean, for fun.


9. How many countries have you been to?
Canada, U.S., Mexico, Germany, Austria, Netherlands, England, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Lao, Australia, New Zealand, Cayman Islands, Cook Islands. I'll leave the counting up to you.


10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
I don't think so...


11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
Oh holy crap shut up about the names already!!! I know the baby's due in 11 days only but I swear we haven't actually picked out any names yet!



13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?
I'm pretty sure I got zeroes on the tests I didn't show up for in Biblical Hebrew.


14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
National Geographic Explorer


15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
I have absofuckinglutely no clue. 


16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
Harry Potter.


17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
I'm Canadian so I have the best of both worlds.


18. Did your mother go to college?
Yes. She started off going to University, then something like 30 or so years later she took a couple classes at college and followed that up with a Masters degree at University.


19. Are your grandparents still married?
Yes, although one set of grandparents have passed on, and my other grandfather killed himself before I was born.... but technically they're all still married.



20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
No. I pretty much stuck to dance lessons. I tried voice lessons and gymnastics... and went back to dance lessons.


21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
Does anyone North American not know who Kermit the Frog is?


22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?
Fantasyland. Except it's not called that anymore...

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
Spanish would be particularly useful. My Dad told me it would be back when, when it wasn't an option to study, but I don't think he figured it would be useful for communicating with the Mexican side of the family, he probably had something else in mind.

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
One is a type of nun, the other is a colour. I can never keep straight in my head which is which.


25. Is your father bald?
No. 

26. Do you know triplets?
No, just twins.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
I don't know anything about The Notebook and The Titanic was rather dreary.


28. Have you ever had Indian food?
I have had it, made it, loved it...

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?
I don't think I have a favourite. 


30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
Yes. Breadsticks. Mmmmm....

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?
I don't belong to anything or anyone.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
I'm actually not sure. Probably Ray.

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
I tend not to acquire nicknames.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
My husband.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
Rural. Trying to get anywhere in the suburbs is a horrid, car-centric experience. At least in a rural area there's nowhere to go or you're far enough away to justify driving everywhere.

36. Can you whistle?
Yes.

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
No.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Just about. I function really poorly without food.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
Prenatal vitamin

40. What medical conditions do you have?
Endometriosis

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
Like for serious illness? Or to visit people? For my own care and treatment I've been, I think..... when I was born, shortly thereafter, then not again until I was in Lao (that was special), then 3 times in the past 3 years, twice for surgery and once last Christmas for an unidentified infection that I thought was going to kill me. Next trip will be for the birth of my baby.


42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Yes.

43. Where do you buy your jeans?
Annex used to have good jeans. But I also have a stellar pair of maternity jeans too...


44. What’s the last compliment you got?
Mum complimented me several times on my cooking skills.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
Depends on how creepy they were.

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
I generally don't like flavoured teas. 

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
Too many to remember off the top of my head. They're spread across two fairly big totes, put away for winter.


48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
Freedom of choice and general libertarianism.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?
I don't remember.

50. Why do you have a tumblr?
I don't, but a good friend of mine does.....

crazy

I have done exactly 3 crazy things in my life. If you know me you will probably argue that the list is considerably longer; I would argue that those things don't fit the definition of crazy at all.

In chronological order:

1. Russell and I bought a house together in Saskatoon, a city neither of us knew much about.

2. Russell and I got married. I have a physical attraction to exactly one man - my husband. Otherwise, I'm a ladies' lady.

3. We decided to have a child, and against all odds, have been successful in making one. We're due in early January.

I know there are people out there reading this - google gives me the omnipotence of blog statistics - so here's a question for you: What are the 3 craziest things you've ever done? Please comment, I'd love to hear from you!

suicide prevention week

September 9th - 15th is suicide prevention week. Reblog if you’re always willing to talk with your followers if they ever need anyone. <3 a="a" nbsp="nbsp">

 You can totally talk to me. Email me. Phone me if you can track down my number. 

Bee Es (or why I am extremely leery of letting my child attend public school)

The following post is taken from a blog belonging to a very good friend of mine. 

It explains very clearly one of many reasons why the thought of putting my child through public school makes me angry. I had to suffer through this Bee Es growing up, although I'm relatively certain it wasn't my parents perpetuating it.

The comment at the end is every bit as important too - this isn't just about little girls learning that violence is a show of affection. It's about teaching little boys that violence is *not* a show of affection. And that it goes both ways - girls can be equally awful.

Name calling and violent behavior is NOT EVER an acceptable method of showing affection.

Here's the post:

“I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.
My daughter is 10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.
I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.
The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.
” You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via ceedling)
And always remember that the boys are listening, too, and learning that this is how they are expected to show their affections.
(via joyouslyprofane)

day of rest

This post is an invitation for comments.

In dancing on the grass yesterday for the Westview Culture Days with the lovely Al Amar Dance Theatre, (Classes start this Wednesday at The Refinery in Saskatoon - check out their webpage for details!) I seem to have re-done whatever it was I did before to my foot where it feels like the cuboid bone slipped against the.... well, either the first metatarsals of the 4th and 5th toes or the transverse tarsal joint was the one doing the slipping. Either way, it resulted in dancing with a numb foot and now occasionally walking with great foot pain. As long as I stay off of it, it will be better by Wednesday. This is vital because that is when dance classes start, and I love to dance.

In the meantime, I am attempting a day of rest. This goes against my very grain. It is the weekend and I am supposed to be doing all of the active things I normally would not get to do during the week while sitting at a desk in an office. At the very least, going for a walk would be absolutely lovely as it is supposed to be quite nice out today, and there won't be very many quite nice out days left this season.

This post is an invitation for comments - what do you do with forced days of rest when you really don't feel like resting?

Once you're done answering that, you should really check out the info on classes with Al Amar. Aside from being super fun and super good for you, it'd be good for us to see some new faces too. And it's fun. Did I mention that? Really fun. If you do nothing else with your spare time, taking an Al Amar class will greatly enhance the amount of fun you have in your life.

Saskatoon Fireworks Festival, Aug. 31, 2012

I don't just write, I dance too!

blog posts to write

1. Connection of Jen's birth to Agent Orange, or Why I Don't Have a Sibling.

2. Dad's rifle pt. 2 - Is that the rifle you got the caribou with?

questions to answer, from a friend's blog

Original questions for you.

1: When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? \
Always strawberry. I don't deliberately by Neapolitan for that reason.
 
2: Would you rather be caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella or a snowstorm without boots?

Thunderstorm without umbrella - umbrella screams lightening, here I am!

3: Let's say you have access to a time machine, but it can only go either backward or forward. One or the other. Which do you choose and where do you go?

I honestly don't know because the idea of having a time machine freaks me out.

4: If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick?
The ability to make others realize their self-worth.

 

5: Tomorrow morning, you wake up in the body of a celebrity, like in a '90s body-swap movie. Who is it? How do they react to your life? What do you do when you're "them"? Would you choose to switch back?
No.

 

6: Any allergies?
sometimes springtime. And large concentrations of preservatives.

 

7: What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers?
Neither. Sex toys are fun and adult diapers may one day be a necessity, not something to be embarrrased about.

 

8: Did you get enough sleep last night?

Probably.

9: You're the sole witness to a Mafia murder. Witness protection has to set you up with a whole new life in a totally new country. You have to leave everything behind, but you can pick where you move to. Where do you go?
I don't want to go anywhere. I really like Saskatoon.

 

10: If you could star in a biopic about any famous person ever, who would it be?
Nobody, I really like my life and I'm not a great actor.

 

11: What's the biggest animal you've ever killed? Bugs count.
I may have hit a bird or small rodent with my car.

 

12: Would you rather have millions of dollars but always feel nauseous when you go outside, or be dirt poor forever but never get sick again in your life?
Dirt poor and healthy. I can't handle nausea.

 

13: A wizard offers you immortality in exchange for your two front teeth. Do you take it?
No. These teeth are mine bitch!

 

14: Could you win the Hunger Games?
I wouldn't play.

 

15: What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid? How about as a teen/adult?
I don't know. The easiest was the zombie belly dancer... but Queen of the Autumn Faeries was also pretty awesome.

 

16: Do you bite your nails?
Sometimes.

 

17: What was the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
I don't remember the first one.

 

18: Do you prefer music with male or female vocalists?
It doesn't matter as long as they can sing well.

 

19: You and the love of your life are having a baby, and you get to choose the name! There's only one catch: your partner INSISTS that it be the name of a place, real or fictional. What do you name your baby?
So not happening.

 

20: If you could reboot or remake any movie, what would it be and who would you cast?
No.

 

21: If you could automatically know how to speak any language or play any instrument, which would you choose?
Playing instruments.

 

 

22: For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing?
No.

 

23: If you curse loudly and then realize that there are children nearby, what is your reaction?
I'd rather they hear it from me than learn it at school. I can teach kids how to curse properly if they really want to learn, whereas out in the world they mostly just learn to be crass and inappropriate with it.

 

24: Of what animal are you most afraid?
Tasmanian devil.

 

25: Pizza or oral sex?
Depends on the quality of the pizza.

 

26: Without looking them up, can you explain the rules of football? How about Quidditch? What do you think that says about you?
Probably not. Without looking them up I don't think I could even tell you what they are.

 

27: You're in the car, switching channels on the radio when you hear a song that makes you go "OH SHIT, THAT'S MY JAM!" What song is it?
If I ever said that out loud while driving I'd start to laugh so hard I'd get snot everywhere and probably get in an accident.

 

28: Have you ever paid to see a Step Up movie? If not, how much would someone have to pay YOU to see a Step Up movie?
Never heard of it.

 

29: If you were being executed tonight, what would you choose for your last meal?
Something involving mashed potatoes with skins and butter and salt and pepper and gravy. Probably blue-rare prime rib.

 

30: Have you ever bought an item of clothing because it reminded you of something a fictional character would wear?
I don't think so? Unless we're talking the fictional me in my head who is so much more awesome and brave and smart and pretty - she's someone I try to be more of and in that case, probably.

 

31: If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
My husband. 

 

32: Have you ever been punched in the face?
Sort of. Broke my glasses, mostly missed my face.

 

33: How do you take your ramen noodles?
Either Vietnamese style with green onion and soup liquid and other veggies or drained with just the soup powder. Chicken flavour only.

 

34: Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before you actually have them?
Sometimes, but they never go as they do in my head. Usually, being an introvert, I debrief them after and think up all the witty things I wish I'd said or done. I'm not sure if it's a useful exercise or not.

 

35: How much black do you wear on a regular basis (not counting funerals)?

Usually not much, it depends.

 

36: Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any?
One. And I'm rather on the fence about getting any more. I don't think I will.

 

37: If someone offered you a free pet snake, would you take it? It's not dangerous or really big or anything. They're just moving to a place that doesn't allow pets.
Probably. Especially if it came with a free terrarium and accessories.

 

38: Do you know how to pronounce the word "pinochle"?
Pinacle? 

 

39: Can you think of anything more boring than birdwatching?
Being injured and not being able to be on my feet for a week. Sucks.

 

40: Are you better with numbers or words?
Words, but lately this whole pregnant thing is making me borderline dyslexic with words and numbers.

 

41: At the movies, do you stay for the credits?
Sometimes. I like to know where things were filmed if the scenery is either stunning or if I think I've been there (and if it's the latter, usually I'm right).

 

42: Is morality universal or relative?
Seriously? 

 

43: Let's say you're getting married to someone you absolutely adore. The only catch is that you met them through a Craigslist hookup ad that was supposed to be just for one night of casual sex. Would you tell your friends how you and your fiance met?
Of course! That's hilarious! I might alter the details a bit for my Dad though...

 

44: What's the worst name you've ever been called? 

I'm generally not called names. 

 
45: Would you eat human flesh if it had been harvested and prepared humanely? (Say, from someone brain-dead who had marked him or herself down as an organ donor - same difference, right?)
My husband said I could eat him if he died. I probably wouldn't unless the world were also ending and protein was in short supply though. It's kind of creepy.

 

46: At what age did you stop believing in Santa? Alternately, if you never believed in Santa, did you ever ruin Santa for anyone else?
I can't remember. 

 

47: Do you get along better with old people or little kids?
Old people. Having a baby is sure going to be interesting!

 

48: If you had to choose, would you rather become a nun/monk or a drug dealer?
Nun.

 

49: What's your best bodily feature, objectively speaking?
I'm not objective about my body so ask someone else.

 

50: Who is your favorite late night talk show host? 

David Attenborough! 

(Wait, you mean you don't watch his nature shows alone in bed in the dark on your iPod?)

Food Storage - 3 days

This idea is based on something I found on Pintrest, which is, succinctly, as follows:

In the event of a catastrophe, it takes the average person's brain 3 days to figure out the gravity of the situation - in other words, in a situation like Hurricane Katrina, people's brains are traumatized en masse for an average of 3 days and nobody can think straight.

3-day food storage meal planning is based on this knowledge - for the first 3 days of a disaster, everyone will suck at things like thinking, rational decision making, and survival.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could have 3 days of boxes with food in them that goes well together to make a healthy meal that you don't have to cook, think about preparing, or need water for?

What I read suggested a simple meal plan around tuna. This wouldn't work at my house due to fish allergies, but I suppose we could substitute other canned meat. The Tuna Box would have about 5 cans of tuna (I'm basing this on our family - 2 adults and soon 1 baby/toddler), a jar of relish, jar of mayonnaise (we don't like store-bought mayo so maybe we could substitute salad dressing), a box or 2 of whole wheat crackers, a big can of fruit (or 2), and an individual sandwich baggie of trail mix for each person.

I think the challenge for us would be getting dairy... although I guess if we had powdered cheese we could always mix it with the aforementioned salad dressing... it would probably also mix well with canned hummus.

The challenge is to come up with 3 days of meal boxes, then fill them, label with a use by date, and every 6 months or so, eat what's in the box (the day after buying replacement food!). Having to actually eat your 3 day boxes twice a year will also serve as a good learning tool - what works? What doesn't?

I would enjoy a meal of canned meat, salsa (or canned stewed tomatoes), bagel chips (see, I'm diversifying! And they could be cheesy bagel chips! I rule!), a can of fruit (different fruit than the day before), and a snack of rice cakes with peanut butter and jam.

The last day could be a few cans of homemade hummus (I'm sure it can be done), pita chips, a can or 3 of a vegetable that doesn't suck when it's cold - maybe corn, another can of a different fruit, and for a snack maybe some... crackers made out of nuts with either jam or nutella (which is made with milk).



Another protein idea would be pickled eggs. My husband doesn't like them, but I'd be happy with them...

What are your 3 day food box ideas?

Food storage for beginners

With the recent and ongoing power outage in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan's 3rd largest city, I feel compelled to write a post on affordable food storage for beginners, as that is the level we were at when we started storing food - it had to be cheap and easy.

Here are some things to think about:

1. Pasta, rice, and wild rice, if left soaking in water long enough, will become soft. Rice is the better use of the water because you can add a little to start with and then add a little more as it gets soaked up. Pasta uses water but then what's left over isn't as awesome for drinking as fresh water.

2. Cans last almost forever. It's a good idea to rotate what's in your cupboards just to be safe. If you don't have anything in your cupboards, watch for things like 2 for $ or 3 for $ deals. Tomato sauce is a great one to have on hand because it makes everything awesome, even rice. Stewed tomatoes are almost better because they have liquid in them, which, in an emergency, would allow you to use less water for the rice.

3. Canned fruit is another smart buy, not only because it has vitamin C but because it is loaded with liquid. The more you can eat that is wet, the less water you'll need to drink.

4. Juice in tetra-paks is another item that is shelf-savvy. They last for a very long time and would allow you to further conserve water. Juice, too, is often on sale for really cheap, like 99 cents a litre, or sometimes even less. When it's that cheap and you would have normally picked up 1 litre for $2 or $3, pick up 2 or 3 litres for the same price. Store it.

5. If you know you're going to use something in your cupboard, buy a replacement for it and rotate it so that the oldest product is at the front of the shelf.

6. Protein storage is not impossible. Canned beans are fantastic for this. Busch's Beans even taste great cold, I think. Your other easy option would be dehydrated eggs. They don't exactly taste awesome scrambled like fresh eggs do, but you can put a teaspoon or 2 here or there and you won't even notice them. You could even mix them in with your tomato sauces if you found the idea of eating them plain vile.

7. A cheap camping stove is a really good idea. I'm talking literally the single burner that screws into the top of a bottle of propane. Those suckers heat stuff REALLY fast. I don't even think we went through a whole small bottle of propane on our honeymoon and we had hot beans with almost every meal. Also, it's easy to store the burner and a couple bottles of propane at home, and it's cheaper than a big bottle of BBQ propane, which is hard to acquire if you're poor and don't have a car (like we were when we went on our honeymoon). An alternate, which only works if you're willing to chop down your trees and share your food, is to make friends with the closest neighbour who has a fire pit. Another thing to keep in mind about propane is that you should keep it and use it outside, well away from your house. Chances are good you'll never have an incident with it, but it is odorless, accidents happen (especially if all hell's breaking loose and the apocalypse is striking), and you might thank me for that reminder in the end. And.... last thought on fuel: You probably shouldn't rely on your natural gas BBQ for an emergency situation. It might be awesome every other day of the year, and less of a PITA then propane, but if gas goes out with your power, you'll be glad for your portable alternative.

8.  Make sure you rotate something sweet in your food storage. Chocolate is good, something like pure chocolate chips, because chocolate doesn't really expire. It's still good to rotate it anyway but it will last for a very long time as long as it's kept dry and cool. Cookies are good too - Oreos have all kinds of preservatives in 'em (they make me itchy, which is lame) which means they'd be a good choice for longevity. Ritz crackers have the same sort of longevity. M&Ms are also known as pretty decent energy food, although lacking in nutrition. Things like nuts are good to have on hand for energy and mix well with chocolate, but only if you eat them often enough to go through them as they will go rancid faster than canned or sugary goods. Rum cake, if it's not against your religion, seems to last forever and is awfully tasty. It would make a nice treat in a crisis. I'm also under the impression that fruit cake, the Christmas kind, also lasts forever...

8 1/2: Foods high in acids and sugars have longer shelf lives. Maybe see how long a jar of pickled eggs will keep if you like pickled eggs (I do) or other pickled protein.

9. Whatever you do, don't stock up on an overabundance of junk food. It might seem cheap and easy but in a crisis situation you need real food and as best proper nutrition as possible in order to think straight and function properly.

10. It's not a bad idea to have a bottle of bleach on hand as well as it is useful for disinfecting things.

I guess the key to effective food storage is to find things that are cheap, healthy, and keep for a really long time. If you're stuck in an emergency, you probably won't care that you can't have T-bone steak and fresh veggies as much as you might think if you have a good selection of canned goods and a method with which to heat them. Remember too that variety is important - you don't want tomato sauce dishes for an entire week and you won't want beans for an entire week. But if you  have 5 or 6 kinds of canned veggies, 5 or 6 kinds of canned fruit, well, then you have options. And it might not be awesome if it goes on for more than a week, but when you think about the people who live near you who weren't prepared, you'll be glad you slowly acquired some basic food.

Where'd Jen go?

Week before last was super. People came to visit from out of town. I danced in a stellar show. We had breakfast in the back yard....

I also got super sick. And started a new job.

The new job is going well. The sick... is finally getting the antibiotics it deserves.

And my friend who was in Africa was allowed to leave the hospital finally too. I suspect she still has a long row to hoe but things are on the up and up. Her daughter is doing well too.

When I stop needing 2 hour naps after work interspersed with usage of entire boxes of kleenex, I might blog just a bit more.....

perfect sprinkler

Today I weeded the flower beds. While I did this, I tried out my awesome new sprinkler on the garden. (Mine is actually a lower-end model than the one I've linked to - maybe Gardena stopped making my model? Did I mention Gardena is the most awesome way to water things?) Not only does my awesome new sprinkler oscillate from one side of the garden to the other, the width of its spray is the EXACT length of my vegetable garden. It took a while to get it set so it wasn't spraying my neighbours, but now it is perfect. I weeded, the sprinkler sprinkled, and at the end I turned the water off, having accomplished the tasks of weeding and watering - at the same time.

This, my friends, is magic.

On another note, we've figured out how to get my friend and her daughter home and not starve them on the way there. This also adds to the feeling that today might just be magic.

Happy Saturday everybody.

abominations and violations

I hardly know where to begin this post.

I am thinking about a friend who is overseas. Specifically, she is in Africa. But not the Africa with safaris and really expensive resorts.

My friend went over to start a non-profit to try and do something really good for the food security of the people of Africa.

Instead... someone who said he would help her tried to steal from her online banking on her laptop. The bank froze her assets until she returns to Canada.

This was over 2 months ago.

Yes, that is right. My friend has been living the African Dream. She has no money, and she lives in a room guarded by armed guards with video surveillance. Her host family is looking after her... but they are no longer interested in having penniless guests. (Yes, my friend has her young daughter with her.)

She said they've mostly been eating ground beef, and occasionally they can get ahold of the back of a chicken, and once in a blue moon she's been able to trade English lessons for an egg or two. No veggies. Fruit is plentiful but the trees are all owned... and she is not the owner.

She spent most of the first month in hospital with malaria. She wasn't all better when they let her go. Her daughter is also sick now. But that's not the worst of it. She has some sort of bacteria or fungus that is causing her legs and feet to spontaneously break out in ulcers. My best guess based on what she said the doctors told her is Buruli ulcer disease. She was taken to the hospital and the doctor removed one of her ulcers, about the same diameter as a pop can, without anesthetic. Keep in mind that ulcers can go down quite deep too. She has had no painkillers, and no antibiotics. When the dressing is changed, her wound is simply lavaged with saline, which she said they also use to "wash" the needles. I'm not entirely certain if that means the needles are sterile and getting a saline flush, or if that means they're re-use needles.

I've made arrangements to get her home on the earliest flight out. It leaves Tuesday night. This has left the Bank of Jen very close to bankrupt. She is going to need some cash for the trip home though - not just to potentially bribe the immigration officials when she leaves but to for food for the two of them on the journey home. They will be en route for more than 24 hours.

This post was going to be about the abomination and human rights violation that passes for a Beninoise hospital and medical system (I hope I have the adjectival form of Benin correct, apologies if I am wrong). Instead it is me wondering where to get the money to wire to my friend to get her home safely and get she and her daughter to a proper hospital.

Yes, this has been keeping me up at night.